On Blindness and Marriage

A woman called the Member Services line yesterday asking for books on marriage. Specifically she was concerned about her marriage. She explained that her husband found her to be jealous and insecure, but really, she said, it was because of her blindness, and he should be more understanding. I tried to suggest books on gender differences hindering understanding in marriage, and she said, no, she wanted a book on blindness and marriage. Good luck, lady. She’ll need to write this book. But I felt bad for her, too, as she told me, “I know it’s true! It’s because I’m blind! I was never like this before I became blind! My blind friends say the same thing.”
If only she could understand that blindness is not as much a hallmark of insecurity as the dynamic between the two married parties. If only she could understand that blindness is a physical characteristic, not a mental or emotional state upon which to base excuses. If only making her understand were part of both my job description and my expertise! If only I didn’t feel so personally invested anyway! Sigh